Embracing Change: Understanding Our Emotions

December 8, 2022

The Greek philosopher, Heraclitus, coined the phrase, “change is the only constant in life.” This notion has been on my mind, as I watch my baby learn to walk and helped my son onto the school bus for the first time. We have all experienced change in countless ways throughout our lives. We see the leaves falling to the ground as winter approaches. We experience the loss of pets and friendships as we welcome in the new. We say goodbye to our childhood homes with increased independence on the horizon. We shift from learning to mentoring others. That career prospect that was once a dream, becomes a reality.

People often say that the best way to handle change is by embracing it. This is wise, as accepting it as part of the human experience, can provide a sense of solidarity and normality. But change can feel complex. Emotions like relief, excitement, fear, sadness, joy, and anything in between can be felt, often simultaneously. Overwhelm is understandable, as we’re often called to meet the demands of our physical worlds while noticing our sometimes-turbulent inner experiences. This is where a deeper understanding of the function and purpose of our emotions can be helpful.

Here are 3 ways of reframing our emotions in the face of change:

Emotions are helpful little messengers - emotions are eager to send us valuable information about what’s important to us. If we listen, we can make decisions that are aligned with our values.

There are no good or bad emotions - some emotions are more enjoyable, and some are more challenging for us to experience. All are okay and normal, so allow them to come and go as they will.

Opposite emotions are more similar than you think: - emotions like happiness and sadness feel opposite to one another. But they are connected, and without one, you wouldn’t know the other. For example, feeling sad to move to a new city means you felt happy in your old one. Validating your feelings can help remind you of this dichotomy, in the hopes of moving forward in acceptance and gratitude.

Wishing you all the best in embracing the inevitable changes that are to come as this 2022 chapter is approaching it’s ending. You’re not alone. It can feel hard. But it can be manageable. I encourage you to listen to your messengers, learn more about what’s important to you, make decisions that feel authentic, and let your feelings flow with welcoming acceptance. They are there for a reason.

By Andrea Montello, M.A. C. Psych, Clinical Psychologist at the Mental Game Clinic