The Meaning of What We Do
As I take the next step in my profession as a psychotherapist, I've been reflecting on my purpose and what it means to have a purpose in general. I've learned as a therapist to accept the challenges and occasional self-doubt that come with this meaningful work. While the rewards may seem subtle at times, I am confident that long-lasting growth is a journey worth taking. I firmly believe that change comes from within, and my role is not to change someone but to work alongside them. Together, we can exchange ideas, find connections in past experiences, and uncover the core beliefs that shape our lives.
My purpose is to share this journey. The beauty I find in human connections and my unwavering belief that change is always possible and achievable is what gives my life meaning.
Practical Exercise: Reconnecting with Your Reasons
When you feel that your motivation is slipping and you struggle to reach your goals, it can be helpful to reflect on your core reasons for pursuing them. Here's a simple exercise to help you reconnect with your purpose:
Identify Your Core Reasons: Ask yourself, “What are three reasons I do what I do?” Write them down.
Rate Their Importance: On a scale from 0 to 10, decide how important these reasons are for you.
By reconnecting with your core reasons, you can reignite your motivation and stay on track toward your goals.
Purpose in Athletes
This introspective exercise led me to wonder about another group of individuals who demonstrate remarkable dedication and drive: athletes. How do athletes do it? How do they achieve such incredible heights in their game? What drives them to push their limits and stay ahead? What’s the meaning they give to their lives that fuels their passion and perseverance?
Legacy: The Quest to Be the Best
Some athletes are driven by the desire to leave a lasting legacy. Take Michael Jordan, for example. He’s known for his incredible skills and competitive spirit. Jordan famously said, " I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying." (Middleton, 2022). His pursuit of excellence made him a legend.
Then there's Serena Williams, who has dominated tennis with 23 Grand Slam singles titles. Her drive to be the best isn’t just about winning trophies; it’s about pushing the boundaries of what’s possible. She once said, " It doesn’t matter what your background is or where you come from, if you have dreams and goals, that’s all that matters" (Smith, 2023).
Humility: The Art of Staying Grounded
Other athletes find their purpose in staying humble and being good people. Simone Biles, the most decorated gymnast in history, is not just about winning medals. She’s also about speaking out on mental health and staying true to herself. Biles reminds us, “If you're having fun, that's when the best memories are built.” (Sprankles, 2016).
And there’s Lionel Messi, a football legend who’s known for his modesty despite his incredible talent. He believes, "You can overcome anything, if and only if you love something enough." (Lionel Messi Quotes, 2023). For Messi, it’s about loving the game and staying grounded.
The Power of Purpose
Researchers McKnight and Kashdan (2009) talk about how having a clear purpose in life makes everything better. When you have goals that matter to you, life feels more engaging and satisfying. Think about it: when you’re working towards something you care about, aren’t you more excited and motivated? That’s the power of purpose in action.
Studies show that people with a strong sense of purpose tend to live longer, stay healthier, and feel more content (Houltberg et al., 2017). It’s like having an internal compass guiding you through life’s ups and downs. Imagine purpose as your own secret superpower that helps you bounce back when things get tough.
Ever heard of Yalom? He’s the founder of existential therapy, and he had this profound insight: a fundamental part of being human is deciding the meaning we give our lives. This reminds me of something my uncle once said. He imagined a person walking in a dark void, with no direction or destination. Eventually, that person would start to imagine themselves going someplace and create a sense of purpose to keep them moving forward. It’s a powerful idea—no matter how aimless things seem, we find or create meaning that keeps us going.
Finding Your Own Path: Self-Reflection and Therapy
How do you view your own journey? Are you driven by the desire to be the best, like Jordan or Williams? Or do you stay grounded and focused on other aspects of life, like Biles or Messi? What else resonates with you?
Your self-narrative—the way you see yourself—can have a big impact on your mental health and well-being. If you focus too much on performance and fear failure, it can be tough to stay positive. But having a purpose that goes beyond just winning can help you stay resilient and healthy.
In therapy, we explore these questions together. It’s not about your therapist changing you; it’s about discovering the change within yourself. We dive into your experiences, uncover your core beliefs, and find the tools that work best for you. So, what’s the takeaway? Whether you’re an athlete aiming for greatness or someone trying to find your way, having a sense of purpose is essential. It’s the driving force that helps you navigate life’s challenges and stay motivated.
Written by Lina Berrada, MA RP(Q), Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) at The Mental Game Clinic.
References
38 Lionel Messi Quotes To Inspire & Motivate (+50 Quotes About The GOAT). (2023). Jobs in Football. https://jobsinfootball.com/blog/lionel-messi-quotes/
McKnight, P. E., & Kashdan, T. B. (2009). Purpose in Life as a System that Creates and Sustains Health and Well-Being: An Integrative, Testable Theory. Review of General Psychology, 13(3), 242-251. DOI:10.1037/a0017152
Middleton, Y. (2022, November 23). 88 Motivational Michael Jordan Quotes. Addicted 2 Success. https://addicted2success.com/quotes/88-motivational-michael-jordan-quotes/
Houltberg, B. J., Wang, K. T., Qi, W., & Nelson, C. S. (2018). Self-Narrative Profiles of Elite Athletes and Comparisons on Psychological Well-Being. Research Quarterly for Exercise and Sport, 89(3), 354–360. DOI:10.1080/02701367.2018.1481919
Smith, P. (2023, March 3). 30 Serena Williams Quotes That Show Why She’s Tennis’ Number One. https://marathonhandbook.com/30-serena-williams-quotes/
Sprankles, J. (2016, July 27). 12 Inspirational Simone Biles Quotes. Bustle. https://www.bustle.com/articles/175271-12-simone-biles-quotes-that-will-give-you-life-goals-and-wish-you-were-her-bff
