Upward management 101: It’s all about the shared goals
Written by: Dr. Kelly McShane
PhD, C.Psych., Registered Clinical and Organizational Psychologist (CPBAO #4710)
Client Focus: Adults, Leaders, Executives, Organizations, Executive Coaching
Modalities: Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Self-Compassion, Motivational Interviewing
Common Concerns: Workplace Trauma and Discrimination, Depression, Anxiety and Stress/Burnout, Leadership Development, Interpersonal Conflict Management, Self Development, Resilience
Area of Practice: Coaching, Performance, Depression, Workplace Stress
Over the past few months, regardless of the workplace sector, the question I get asked time and time again is about how to talk to my boss so they listen, follow through, deliver, and even change. We often say our progress is dictated by the slowest member of our team, and if it’s your boss it can be particularly frustrating as you are keen to show what you can accomplish.
First, shocking news alert, your boss, director, or CEO is an actual person. Some struggle with motivation, direction, discipline, fatigue, follow-through, personal challenges, and then some. Please accord them the same compassion you would afford a friend or colleague. They might even be experiencing a lack of clarity on goals and strategic directions, which create challenges for their own tasks. Sound familiar?!
Understanding Your Boss’s Perspective
Following this realisation, it’s necessary to understand their perspective. Ask them about their projects, assignments, and upcoming challenges. You can take a look at strategic plans and other organisational documentation to identify what your boss needs to demonstrate for their own success. I also find it helpful to look at any public documents about workplaces - newsworthy stories that might speak to any current reputation risks that could be adding unspoken pressure.
Understanding their goals and pressures will help you become fluent in their workplace language. You must learn to speak their language, the language that guides the actions. With this insider knowledge, you can align your language, actions, and requests to support them to accomplish their goals. In other words, you can be that team player that helps them look good! For a sports analogy, your role is to set them up for success; you just need to know what plays they are looking to draw from.
Managing Competing Priorities and Expectations
A common question I get, maybe some of you are even thinking about it right now as you read, is, what if my boss has too many tasks, or “asks” of you? This is likely an indication of their own experience with a lack of clear direction from their own leaders. Helping establish priorities and actively deprioritising tasks are two processes you might need to actively engage in with your leader. In those conversations, I recommend conveying your genuine desire to support and accomplish the new tasks and (not but!) also convey the challenges with the requested timeline, breadth or comprehensiveness of the work, and quality of work needed in light of the existing projects/tasks. This helps re-establish priorities, while reassuring your boss that you are a team player wanting to deliver high-quality work consistently. You can also present what you can deliver within the set timeline, and if needed, have the conversation of what additional support you would need to meet the timeline.
I want to revisit a key message - something I learned about earlier on in my training to be a psychologist. It is likely that the way your boss is communicating with you about tasks and priorities directly reflects their own experience with their bosses. This realisation is key for building compassion towards your boss, in addition to remembering that they are human! If they are assigning a lot of tasks with little direction, likely they have passed the hot potato to you! Taking the time to emphasize your commitment to high-quality work and your need to get direction, to support them to meet those deliverables will go a long way to a collaborative work culture.
Work with an experienced clinical psychologist
Dr. Kelly McShane
PhD, C.Psych., Registered Clinical and Organizational Psychologist (CPBAO #4710)
College of Psychologists and Behaviour Analysts of Ontario
An organizational and clinical psychologist who integrates Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, Motivational Interviewing, and systems theory to help adults, leaders, and executives navigate workplace stress, burnout, complex interpersonal dynamics, and meaningful change.
